Surrendering to the fact that life isn’t fair

One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time complaining about what’s wrong with life. We commiserate with others, discussing the injustices of life. “It’s not fair,” we complain, not realizing that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.

One of the nice things about surrendering to the fact that life isn’t fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have. We know it’s not “life job” to make everything perfect, it’s our own challenge. Surrendering to this fact also keeps us from feeling sorry for others because we are reminded that every one is dealt with a different hand, and everyone has unique strengths and challenges.

The fact that life isn’t fair doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do everything in our power to improve our own lives or the world as a whole. To the contrary, it suggests that we should. When we don’t recognize or admit that life isn’t fair, we tend to feel pity for others and for ourselves. Pity, of course, is a self-defeating emotion that does nothing for anyone, except to make everyone feel worse than they already do.

When we do recognize that life isn’t fair, however, we feel compassion for others and for ourselves. And compassion is a heartfelt emotion that delivers loving-kindness to everyone it touches. The next time you find yourself thinking about the injustices of the world, try reminding yourself of this very basic fact. You may be surprised that it can nudge you out of self-pity into helpful action.




infoyogee......................

Why emotional drama ?

The husband and wife gifted themselves a new car for their first wedding anniversary. They drove downtown, watched a movie, and finally returned home. They didn't have the garage facility. So the car was parked in the street. To their utter shock, when they woke up the next morning, the car was missing. The car was stolen. First car, first wedding anniversary gift, and they had enjoyed the car for just a day. The wife couldn't take it. With misty eyes she sank into the sofa. The husband too was a little jolted, but he said, “The car is lost. You can feel heavy about it. You can take it easy. Either way the car is lost. Then, why not take it easy.” She gave him a cold stare and the moment passed.

A logical question: When the car, how can anyone take it easy? But what else can you do? Feel heavy, if you want; take it easy, if you want - either way, after the emotional drama, what has to be done has to be done. The police complaint has to be lodged; the insurance has to be claimed… what has to be done has to be done.

You left the milk a little longer than required on the gas stove. The boiled milk is beginning to overflow from all sides of the vessel. Scream, wail, screech, get tensed, and let your BP to shoot up… after all the emotional drama, now what? You will switch the stove off, offload the milk vessel and clean the kitchen countertop. So, eventually what has to be done will be done.
Here we are not discussing about not being emotional, but about avoiding the dramatic emotional reactions.
Emotions - yes.
Emotional drama - no!

Emotional maturity is not about avoiding emotions, but it is about avoiding the emotional drama. Anyways, what has to be done has to be done. Then, why the drama ?


infoyogee............

Power of Your Own Thoughts...........

It is important to know that there is a relationship between your thinking and the way you feel. It’s important to realize that you are constantly thinking. Don’t be fooled into believing that you are already aware of this fact! Think, for a moment, about your breathing. Until this moment, when you are reading this sentence, you had certainly lost sight of the fact that you were doing it. The truth is, unless you are out of breath, you simply forget that it’s occurring.

Thinking works in the same way. Because you’re always doing it, it’s easy to forget that it’s happening, and it becomes invisible to you. Unlike breathing, however, forgetting that you are thinking can cause some serious problems in your life, such as unhappiness, anger, inner conflicts, and stress. The reason this is true is that your thinking will always come back to you as a feeling.

Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts! Okay, now try feeling stressed out without first having stressful thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it – it’s impossible. The truth is, in order to experience a feeling; you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.

Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. The next time you’re feeling upset, notice your thinking – it will be negative.

Remind yourself that it’s your thinking that is negative, not your life. This simple awareness will be the first step in putting you back on the path toward happiness. It takes practice, but you can get to the point where you treat your negative thoughts in much the same way you would treat flies at a picnic: You shoo them away and get on with your day.

 

 

infoyogee.............

It's called Mindset...........

As I was passing by the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.

No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.

"I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Wise say, “Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt.”


infoyogee...................

Avoid weatherproofing...........

Just as we can weatherproof a home by looking for cracks, leaks, and imperfections, we can also weatherproof our relationships, even our lives, by doing the very same thing. Essentially, weatherproofing means that you are on the careful lookout for what needs to be fixed or repaired. It’s finding the cracks and flaws, and either trying to fix them, or at least point them out to others. This tendency encourages you to think about what’s wrong with everything and everyone --- what you don’t like.

You begin to notice little faults about your colleague or friend, whoever, that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life --- looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right.

Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. Occasional harmless comments have a tendency to become a way of looking at life.

When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them --- but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical.

Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. You will be happier person and feel much better.

You may do weatherproofing, fault finding and corrections, if it is your assigned duty. Otherwise, avoid it.

infoyogee...............

Take responsibility by creating an ideal working environment :))

You’d be amazed at what people can and will do if you not only give them a chance but also believe in their potential. It’s important to know that everyone has unique gifts and talents. It’s your job to assist in bringing those gifts and talents out into the world.

What happens to someone when he/she is insecure, resentful, or frightened? Very simply, he/she loses most of his/her motivation and other positive work-related qualities.

Consider the following example: You have an assistant. Every day when we walk in the door, you remind him how incompetent he is. You point out his weaknesses and flaws. You belittle him in front of other people. The question is how does your assistant feel? It’s hard to know for sure, because people react differently to the same set of facts. But it’s a good bet that he’s frightened, insecure, resentful of you, or, most likely, all of the above.

Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

Rather than sitting back and waiting for people to be perfect – and being frustrated when they are not – take some responsibility in the process by creating an ideal psychological working environment.


infoyogee..............

Silence your greatest critic - You!

Many people spend a great deal of energy arguing for their own limitations; “I can’t do that,” “I can’t help it, I’ve always been that way,” and thousands of other negative and self-defeating statements.

Our minds are powerful instruments. When we decide that something is true or beyond our reach, it’s very difficult to pierce through this self-created hurdle.

Suppose, for example, you tell yourself, “I can’t write,” You’ll look for examples to prove your position. You’ll remember your poor essays in high school, or recall how awkward you felt the last time you sat down to write a letter. You’ll fill your head with limitations that will frighten you from trying.

In order to become a writer or anything else, the first step is to silence your greatest critic --- YOU!

infoyogee...........

The Painting on the wall

There was a king who was a great admirer of art. One day an artist came and said to the king, “Oh King! Give me a blank wall in your palace and let me paint a picture on it.”

The artist was given the job. Just then, another young man said, “Oh King! Please allow me to work on the opposite wall. I too am an artist.” The king said, “What would you like to make?” The man said, “My Lord, I shall make exactly what that man will make on the opposite wall. Moreover, I shall do so, without looking at his work. I would even request you to have a thick curtain put up between the two walls so that either of us cannot see the other.”

Everyone in the king’s court, including the king was intrigued. He decided to give the young fellow a chance. The following day a thick curtain was put into place and both the artists got to work. The first artist brought in a regular supply of paint, oil, water etc. The second one worked with some cloth and a bucket of water. After a month the first artist told the king that his work was complete. The king sent for the second artist and asked him, “Young man, when would your work be ready? I am coming to see the first wall this evening.” The man said, “My Lord, my wall is ready too!”

The king went to see the first artist’s wall. He was very, very impressed with the painting and gave a hefty sum as a reward to the artist. He then asked for the curtain to be opened up. Lo and behold! The same painting was to be seen on the opposite wall too! Amazing! But true! Each line, each minor detail was exactly as it was on the first wall. But this man had not been seeing what was going on, on the other side of the curtain. So how had he done it?
The king wanted to know the secret. He gave a double reward to the fellow. Then he said, “Young man, I am indeed very happy with your work. But you must tell me; how did you do it?”
The lad said simply, “It’s very easy! I just polished the wall every day till it shone like a mirror!” It was a wall made of white marble! The reflection of the painting across the room, showed up in it!

That is what it means to polish yourself. World is a reflection of you. Whatever you are, the world will seem to be that too. If you are happy, the world will look to be happy. If you are sad; jealous; angry; restless... that is what the world will seem to be to you!


infoyogee..............

Remember to Acknowledge...........

You can acknowledge others in many ways. When someone calls you, acknowledge the call. When they send you something, remember to say thank you. When someone does a good job, say so. When they apologize, acknowledge that too.

It’s especially important to acknowledge acts of kindness – doing so reinforces the act and encourages more of the same. We all benefit.

Almost everyone loves to be acknowledged. We love to have our phone calls returned, to be told we are doing a great job, to be thanked for working so hard, to have our creativity appreciated.

People remember acknowledgment and they appreciate it. When you need a favor, or advice, the fact that you have previously taken the time to acknowledge someone often comes back to help you. It makes others want to help you and to see you succeed.

Also, people who have been acknowledged genuinely and with love are very forgiving. They will see beyond your mistakes and failures and forgive you freely. Needless to say, all of this makes your life easier and far less stressful.


infoyogee...............

The story of the eagle

The eagle has the longest life-span among birds.

In its 40’s…..It’s long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey which serves as food.

It’s long and sharp beak becomes bent.

Then, the eagle is left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change which lasts 150 days.

The process requires that the eagle fly to a mountain top and sit on its’ nest.

There the eagle knocks its’ beak against a rock until it plucks it out.

After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out its’ talons.

When its’ new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking its old-aged feathers.

And after five months, the eagle takes its’ famous flight of rebirth and lives for 30 more years.

Why is change needed? Many times, in order to survive we have to start a change process. We sometimes need to get rid of old memories habits and other past limiting beliefs.

Only freed from past burdens, can we take advantage of the present. Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results. Let’s change to make a change!!!


infoyogee..........

Hear with an open mind............

Yogee, a Japanese master received a university professor who came to inquire about the Absolute Truth. 

Yogee served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Yogee said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the Absolute Truth unless you first empty your cup?"

Hence it’s very important when we hear or take association from seniors; we go with an empty cup and hear with an open mind, keeping aside our own opinions and speculations.


infoyogee................