Think problems as speed bumps

Rather than labeling the issues that come up during a typical work day as problems, think of them as speed bumps (speed breakers). An actual speed bump, as you know, is a low bump in a road designed to get your attention and slow you down. Depending on how you approach and deal with the bump, it can be a miserable, uncomfortable, even damaging experience, or it can simply be a temporary slow down – no big deal.

If you step on the gas, speed up, and tighten the wheel, for example, you’ll hit the bump with a loud thump! Your car may be damaged, you’ll make a great deal of noise, and you can even injure yourself. In addition, you’ll add unnecessary wear and tear to your car, and you’ll look foolish and obnoxious to other people.

If, however, you approach the bump softly and wisely, you’ll be over it in no time. You’ll suffer no adverse effects, and your car will be completely unaffected. Let’s face it. Either way, you’re likely to get over the bump.

Problems can be looked at in a similar light. Depending on how you approach and deal with the problem, it can be a miserable experience, or it can simply be a temporary slowdown – no big deal.

Approach the problems like speed bumps - softly and wisely.


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Express your gratitude toward others

The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.

People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.

The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.

 It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.

By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships.


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Handling setbacks & failures

The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?

In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.

Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.

If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.

All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?

The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.

Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.

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Never write an email when you’re mad or upset

The Internet – specifically, e-mail—has done wonders to increase our capacity to communicate. With lightening speed, we can now write letters, share ideas and even close deals. The benefits are astonishing.

There’s a downside to e-mail, however, that’s important to be aware of. The problem is, it’s tempting, when you’re mad or upset; to fire off an e-mail that you might very well live to regret.

In a reactive or upset state of mind, or when you’re lacking judgment or perspective, it’s easy to act impulsively rather than with composure and wisdom. In the blink of an eye, you can confuse someone, hurt their feelings, enrage them, or even destroy a relationship.

The good news is, the flip side of this issue is also true. If you’re mad at someone and are tempted to share your feelings via e-mail – but you manage to resist – your restraint can pay enormous dividends.

Who knows how many relationships are ruined, or at least adversely affected, every day, by someone clicking “send” instead of simply walking away?

Some practical advice is this: Whenever possible, when you’re upset, refrain from sending e-mails. It’s dangerous territory. Instead, wait until you cool off. In the long run, you’ll maintain good relationships, and avoid unnecessary conflict.


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Search for the grain of truth in other opinions

Almost everyone feels that their own opinions are good ones; otherwise they wouldn’t be sharing them with you. One of the destructive things that many of us do, however, is compare someone else’s opinion to our own. And, when it doesn’t fall in line with our belief, we either dismiss it or find fault with it. We feel smug, the other person feels diminished, and we learn nothing.

Almost every opinion has some merit, especially if we are looking for merit, rather than looking for errors. The next time someone offers you an opinion, rather than judge or criticize it, see if you can find a grain of truth in what the person is saying. If you think about it, when you judge someone else or their opinion, it really doesn’t say anything about the other person, but it says quite a bit about your need to be judgmental.

If you practice this simple idea, some wonderful things will begin to happen: you’ll begin to understand those you interact with, other will be drawn to your accepting and loving energy, your learning curve will be enhanced, and perhaps most important, you’ll feel much better about yourself.


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Fish Out of Water

Everyone in the material world is engaged in all kinds of political, philanthropic and humanitarian activities to make material life happy and prosperous, but this is not possible. One should understand that in the material world, however one may try to make adjustments, he cannot be happy. To cite an example, if you take a fish out of water, you can give it a very comfortable velvet bedstead, but still the fish cannot be happy; it will die. Because the fish is an animal of the water, it cannot be happy without water. Similarly, we are all spirit soul; unless we are in spiritual life or in the spiritual world, we cannot be happy. That is our position.

Everyone is trying for that spiritual realization. But we do not know. Therefore, we are trying to be happy here, in material conditions. We are becoming frustrated and confused. Therefore, we have to withdraw this understanding that we shall be very happy by making adjustments to this material world. Unless you take to Krishna consciousness, you cannot be happy. That is a fact. Therefore, we invite everyone to study and understand this great movement.


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Be willing to apologize

Whenever you are in some service – or when you are taking risks, making things happen, interacting with others, or in the public eye – you are bound to make mistakes. At times you are going to use bad judgment, say something wrong, offend someone, criticize unnecessarily, be too demanding, or act selfishly. The question isn’t whether you will make these mistakes – we all do. The question is, can you admit to them? If so, the question becomes, can you apologize?
   
Many people never apologize. They are either too self-conscious, self-righteous, stubborn, or arrogant to do so. The unwillingness to apologize is not just sad; it is a serious mistake as well. Almost everyone expects others to make mistakes and with a humble and sincere apology, almost everyone is willing to forgive. However, if you are a person who is either unable or unwilling to apologize, you will be branded a difficult person to work with. And over time, people will avoid you, speak behind your back, and do nothing to help you.
   
The ability to apologize, to admit mistakes, is a beautiful human quality that brings people closer together and helps us succeed. By simply acknowledging our humanness and saying “I am sorry” when appropriate, we bond with others and increase their trust in us. Obviously, you must never apologize as a tool of manipulation, to try to get a response like this or to get something out of it.

When you apologize from your heart, you keep most of your existing doors open. Occasionally, you may even open doors that had previously been closed.


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Don’t worry if you do not have some facility

A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.  'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email that means you don’t exist. And who doesn't exist, can’t have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.    

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go every day earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied, ‘I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been If you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'


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